An unknown is said to be under serious consideration by John McCain for a critical cabinet post if not the VP slot. Financial wizard Petit Ramona has had several meetings with McCain and his staff. Originally considered as an advisor certain critical staff members were reportedly so impressed that they have recommended him for a cabinet position. While relatively unheard of in political circles, Petit is known for creative solutions to complicated macro financial problems. Professor Ramona is best known in financial and economic circles for blending the laizze faire freedoms of the Austrian school of economics with the social discipline of the lesser known Bulgarian school of Machiavellian social economics.

Stunned supporters questioned the wisdom of selecting such an unknown for such an important position at such a critical time. McCain supported his inclusion with the credentials of Ramona in military affairs, especially his understanding of the supply requirements of extended military campaigns.

“We must accept the facts that the ensuing global wars we face will require a financial commitment that the general public can tolerate. Ramona has designed a form of modern war bonds that can be funded with pre tax dollars allowing a worker to increase his 401k retirement limits to as much as 35% of his gross pay. By quantifying and segmenting the risk portion of these special bonds, Ramona can allow the worker retirement pool to both fund the war on terror and reduce the potential stress on the social security system with stronger private retirement alternatives.”

McCain noted that while it was an aggressive strategy, that it provided the most creative solutions to our fiscal crisis. “Past wars were won as much in our factories as it was in combat. Petit has simply applied the components of our production advantage to the financial sector.”

When asked about the strategy of using such ‘war bond derivatives’, Hillary Clinton said that her financial advisors had actually created the ‘derivative retirement strategy’ though they had decided to use it to fund health care benefits, and that McCain was obviously stealing a page from her play book.

A spokesman from the Obama camp noted that while they had considered a 401k vehicle to provide the needed liquidity for education, that Obama was concerned that such an investment vehicle as proposed by McCain to fund the war on terror may lead to war profiteering among middle class investors.

Henry Oliner 4/1/08

PS 4/2/08
Before this is referenced on too many other blogs and it impedes the credibility of my postings, this is an April Fool’s Posting- come on…. Petit Ramona….. totally made up folks….HKO

print