for my literary friends out there…..

These are the winners of the “worst analogies ever written in a high school essay” contest run by the Washington Post:

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.(Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring)

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and “Jeopardy” comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.(Roy Ashley, Washington)

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.(Unknown)

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.(Jack Bross, Chevy Chase)

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.(Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring)

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.(Jennifer Hart, Arlington)

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.(Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.)

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.(Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.)

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.(Russell Beland, Springfield)

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)