The Tao of Arby’s

Tales from the road…

At an Arby’s/ Pilot Truck stop off I-65 in Indiana.  A conversation:

” I would like a medium Arby’s roast beef sandwich.”

“Would you like to get double meat for an extra dollar, sir?”

(surprised) “Wouldn’t that be a large?”

“Actually, Sir, that would be about 25% bigger than a large.”

“Then a medium with double meat would be an extra large?”

Stunned look,  “Sir, you could get a large with double meat for an extra dollar, and that would be larger than the medium with double meat.”

“Then that would be an extra extra large.  Could I buy a small and get double meat for an extra dollar?”

Cheerfully, “Yes sir!”

“Would that then be bigger than a medium?”

Puzzled, ” It would be about the same size as a medium.”

“But it would cost twenty cents less?”

Smiling, because she is smart enough to see the insanity, but she is just doing her job, so she is getting a little irritated.  “Yes sir.”

“Sorry to be a nuisance but your pricing scheme fascinates me.  I will just have the medium; no double meat.”

Fortunately there was no one waiting in line behind me.

So for you Arby’s fans:

The small beef sandwich costs $2.79, the medium is 3.99 and the large is 4.69. You can add a dollar to any size and get double meat.  If you do this the small becomes a medium but is cheaper, the medium becomes an extra large that is 25% bigger than the large and the large becomes an extra extra large.

This is some fool marketing genius’s brainchild.  I still haven’t figured out what damn size coffee to order at Starbucks.

Three Components of a Conspiracist

from the Daily Gut- (just added to my recommended sites) go here

So Charlie Sheen recently penned a fictitious conversation between himself and President Obama – one in which he questions our Commander-in-chief on the big 9/11 cover up. Yes, the star of Scary Movie 3 – and Scary Movie 4 – believes that the Bush/Cheney regime were behind the attack, and feels that our current President should investigate immediately, in an effort to answer a “bottomless warren of unanswered questions surrounding that day…”

Now, never mind how insulting this is to anyone personally affected by the tragedy – or who saw it firsthand. Sheen is just awesome for illustrating the three key components to being a conspiracy theorist/loser:

-the egomania. In this “open letter,” Sheen actually uses Obama’s made up words to compliment himself. Yes, the President admits to enjoying “Two and a Half Men,” writes Charlie. And here I thought Martin was the delusional one in the family.

-the mental masturbation. When it comes to truther obsession, the questioning will always be – as Sheen confesses – “bottomless.” See, that`s the joy of conspiracy – it`s like an endless bag of Doritos, except instead of chips you get comebacks like “that`s what they want you to think,” and “open your eyes dude.” It`s so funny how people like Sheen can dismiss all beliefs but their own. Maybe it’s not that funny.

-the inherent contradiction found in accusations of a cover-up. Sheen claims that “9/11 has been the pretext for the systematic dismantling of our constitution and Bill of Rights”. He says this without realizing that since 9/11, not a single person has stopped him from babbling this nonsense. By spewing relentlessly about crap, he`s done more than anyone to prove there is no cover-up! Christ, I wish the government would silence him, or at least get him a haircut better suited for a middle-aged man.

But look, I love Sheen simply being Sheen. He is a man unencumbered by self-awareness. Think about it: The world’s most famous clueless druggie, gambling-addicted whore-banger thinks he’s uncovered a conspiracy – and we should all believe him.

How cute is that?

Why Jews Dominate American Comedy

This video is about 12 minutes and may take a few minutes to download, but it discusses the reason so many Jews do so well in comedy in the U.S. Mike Wallace, Alan Dershowitz, and Rabbi Marc Gillman offer comments and insights, but some of the bits from Buddy Hacket, Sienfeld, Jackie Mason, Elaine Boosler, Walter Matthau, and others slayed me.

A Gift for Laughter

tips to Steve Kruger