- Rebel Yid - https://www.rebelyid.com -

The Truth About Chuck Norris

[1]

Ian Spector was an undergraduate student at Brown University and noticed an Internet forum that mocked Vin Diesel’s role in the Pacifier. Spector linked to the site and launched his own www.4Q.cc/vin and created a ‘random quote generator’ where visitors logged on and offered ridiculous made up quotes on the subject/victim. Stay with me here.

Spector placed a poll on his site asking who the next quote generator should be about and the response was “Chuck Norris”. The site went live in mid 2005 and by early 2006 was getting 20,000,000 page views per month. It gets better.

The young computer geek was approached and pursuaded to publish a book and voila, I pick up “The Truth About Chuck Norris” at the Indiana University Bookstore, read it and start laughing so loudly that my daughter is embarrased; (a father’s sacred resposnsibility). I read the passages out loud and my wife looks at me puzzled.

Off campus at the Urban Outfitters store, stacks of the book are on display and the trendy heavily tatooed staff tell me it is the biggest selling of the specialty books in their store.

Here are some of the excerpts from the book:

“Chuck Norris can stop time for up to two hours by thinking about pineapples.”

“Chuck Norris once boned the Mona Lisa, which is why she smiles.”

“Chuck Norris’s poop is used as currency in Argentina.”

“Chuck Norris once inhaled a seagull.”

“At Chuck Norris’s bachelor party, he ate the entire cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.”

“Chuck Norris can eat a Rubik’s Cube and poop it out solved.”

“The only reason World War II occured was because Chuck Norris was taking a nap.”

“The Virgin Mary saw Chuck Norris in her grilled cheese sandwich.”

“Chuck Norris can speak Braille.”

and this is my last example,

“Chuck Norris was the original Danny Tanner on the hit family sitcom Full House. He was replaced by Bob Saget after an unfortunate incident with one of the Olsen triplets.”

I feel so educated when I hang around a college campus.
HKO
print