Just gazing through Dennis Miller’s “Rant Zone”, an old collection that makes perfect bathroom literary fare. He is the absolute master of the comic metaphor. A few shining examples:
“…even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant WE’RE # 1 finger.”
“(show business) … attracts people with egos as fragile as Strom Thurmond’s hip.”
“(trying to trim government expenses) is like trying to trim a Great Dane’s toenails when he’s horny.”
“When you go to buy a car, you are passed around from salesman to salesman like an apple bong at a Jimmy Page concert…”
“… tighter than Siamese twins in a kayak.”
“…More left out than Alan Greenspan at the Billy Bob-Thornton- Angelina Jolie wedding reception.”
“.. there were more subcategories (at the Grammys) than Larry Flynt’s home-video library.”
“…even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant WE’RE # 1 finger.”
“(show business) … attracts people with egos as fragile as Strom Thurmond’s hip.”
“(trying to trim government expenses) is like trying to trim a Great Dane’s toenails when he’s horny.”
“When you go to buy a car, you are passed around from salesman to salesman like an apple bong at a Jimmy Page concert…”
“… tighter than Siamese twins in a kayak.”
“…More left out than Alan Greenspan at the Billy Bob-Thornton- Angelina Jolie wedding reception.”
“.. there were more subcategories (at the Grammys) than Larry Flynt’s home-video library.”
Dennis has that rare satisfying combination of intelligence and humor. A real talent.
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